Three Surprises.

Hello,

Last week’s Fish And Bear was busy again. This time, we almost filled the Parlor Room, which was a lovely problem to have.

Normally, we try to limit the number of people telling their stories to about 12 to keep the time of each round reasonable. And so once the first 12 arrive, we start seating listeners around the outside of the circle. Over the past couple of months at the Parlor Room, we’ve only ever had a few more than 12, and so we’ve let everyone speak.

This time, though, we had 19, which means a 1-minute exercise would take 19 minutes, and our 3-minute final round would be almost an hour. As people arrived, Lynn valiantly tried organizing the chairs to keep to our ‘circle of 12’ strategy. This did not work. Everyone knows each other so well now that they kept expanding the circle to squeeze everyone in. Eventually, Lynn gave up her efforts to create order, and we improvised around the big circle. We cut the Name Stories to 30 seconds, and shortened the other round times too.

And it worked. Even though the rounds took longer, the secluded quiet of the Parlor Room lends itself to deeper listening. No one figeted or got restless, and we all just listened intently. This was probably helped along by some of the funnier stories that were told. For example, we learned that you should always empty your pockets before a questionable fart! 🙄

I was also surprised on Sunday. I went to the annual party for the LA County Beekeepers Association and had just finished lunch when the MC kicked off the event in a way I would never have predicted. He said he’d had this great idea that we could start the event in an unusual way, but unfortunately, he’d forgotten to inform me that he wanted me to tell everyone about Fish And Bear and lead a little demonstration.

So, off the cuff, I had to take the mic and explain Fish And Bear to about 60 beekeepers. I think I did that OK, as we sort of do it every week at our events, but I was completely stumped about how to do a demo. As part of my explanation, I talked about the simplicity and uniqueness of our name stories. So Keith, the MC, suggested doing 30-second Name Stories and picked out a couple of people who valiantly stepped up to the plate. Then Keith suggested an exercise he’d experienced at Fish And Bear, which is starting your story with “My First Car.” I’d probably have stuck with more Name Stories, but frankly, I was still a bit startled in the headlights.

And then something quite fascinating happened. The second “My First Car” story was from the most verbosely wonderful gentleman in the group. He’s older (I’ll guess he’s in his 80s) and always seems to deliver a somewhat long monologue at every beekeeper monthly meeting. This was going to be interesting. Would he manage to stop talking after the one-minute timer was up?

What happened was precisely the opposite. He finished his story early and couldn’t think of a way to fill his allotted time. I think the audience was shocked, but actually, it’s something we see pretty regularly. The fact is, people often over-talk and repeat themselves when they don’t feel heard. But with Fish And Bear, you really experience being listened to, and the struggle to be heard is removed immediately, which was what all that over-talking was about.

Keith really did me a favor by putting me on the spot like that. If I’d been prepared, I wouldn’t have learned as much as I did from that experience. And now if it happens again, I have a plan!

Hope to see you on Tuesday.

Mark

xx

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