Chilly Reception

The term ‘icebreaker’ plagues me!

I was first ‘introduced’ to it in the UK, at some training event, I think.

I didn’t like it from the get-go. The purpose was to smash down the barriers that prevent this newly formed group of people from speaking up. Except that the reason for the silence was that this group of people was comprised of government employees undergoing mandatory/unwanted training in a town chosen only for its cheap, underutilized, and rather basic facilities.🔥

How do you think we reacted to, “Tell us something interesting about yourself,” exactly?

Never have I heard such a series of mumbling tedium. I can’t even remember what I said, nevermind what anyone else said. In fact, I don’t remember what the course subject was or anyone who attended it with me.

But the term ‘icebreaker’ has not left me. People often compare Fish and Bear exercises to being like icebreakers. And I’ve never liked that comparison much. I’ve felt like it minimises the effect we are striving for, and also, I guess I have flashbacks to the discomfort of my past experiences.

I’ve been told that if your reaction to something is hysterical, it’s probably historical, and therefore not based on what is true now. So maybe I should try to make peace with the term ‘icebreaker’? Maybe it could actually help me explain to people what F&B is and why I believe it is so much more. (Oh, how very mature of me! 🤣)

Of course, there is a lot of ice in the world. And when I say ice, I mean the frosty responses we might get from strangers and not ICE, the {insert your own definition of those masked jerks - I cannot say anything nice}.

And sure, there’s the frozeny water stuff too. In fact, icebreaker exercises take their name from Icebreaker ships, which are specialized vessels that can smash through frozen bodies of water.

And the thing is - pardon me for being pedantic, but also completely correct -those ships don’t melt the ice; the ice is left splintered behind them. Just as it is when you force a room full of government employees to ‘tell a story about themselves’ as part of mandatory training.

So yes, the Fish & Bear rounds could technically be compared to icebreakers -in that they're structured in a slightly similar way- but Fish & Bear is designed to melt the ice.

I think it's because our focus is on listening more than speaking. There are way too many people blethering on in this world, leaving fractured ice in their wake.

And finally, though I can’t remember what was said at all the icebreakers I endured during team-building activities, I can remember stories from Fish & Bear. Like last week, I remember hearing about the beauty of the islands of Gozo and La Gomera, and I remember that a friend has a stone in her handbag with the word peace painted on it. I couldn’t have a stone like that, I’d end up throwing it at someone who said the ‘icebreaker’ word! (I am so mature now.😜)

And though I don't know what stories I’ll tell or listen to tonight, I'm looking forward to hearing something that's definitely worth remembering.

Hope you're there to hear it too.

Mark

xx